Patrick Shai’s widow moves on
Patrick Shai’s widow moves on. Dr. Mmasechaba Shai has had to face the toughest time of her life when her husband and best friend of 40 years, Patrick Shai, took his own life. But instead of being able to grieve and heal, she found herself defending herself from public scrutiny and the stigma of being a widow.
To empower and support widows, she has decided to start a foundation called Widows’ Club.
Since Patrick’s death, Mmasechaba has been dealing with numerous rules and restrictions. She was told not to talk loudly or smile or laugh in public as people would assume that she was the one who killed her husband.
She was also not allowed to use his car or come home later than 6pm. She had to wear black mourning clothes for a year and drink a mixture that was believed to cleanse her of her husband’s blood and hormones so that she would not pass them on to anyone else. Mmasechaba found all these rules to be ridiculous and felt that men were not subjected to the same treatment when their wives pass away.
Her relationship with her in-laws also changed after Patrick’s death. Despite having a good relationship with them previously, she hasn’t heard from them since the Sunday after the funeral. It wasn’t until July or August that one of his relatives sent her a message to ask how she was doing, but she didn’t know how to respond after so much time had passed.
Mmasechaba also faced public scrutiny and criticism from Patrick’s fans. She says she hasn’t had time to grieve properly as she had to be strong for her children after finding her husband hanging in their garage.
The death of her husband was a traumatic experience for her family, and she still struggles with sleeping in their bed, often sleeping on the floor in her daughter’s room or in the lounge.
At the time of Patrick’s death, he was in a social media spat, following a video he made about rapper Cassper Nyovest and his mother. The night before his death, he and Mmasechaba talked about the video, and he apologized to her for it.
Mmasechaba accepted his apology, and the two went to bed with the understanding that everything was alright. The next morning, she woke up to find that he was not in their room, and after searching for him, she found him hanging in the garage.
Since Patrick’s death, Mmasechaba has been unable to sleep in their bed and often visits the cemetery where he is buried. Despite not being well-known, she wants to take advantage of the fact that she is the widow of a famous man and use her platform to help widows who are neglected by their in-laws and do not have a voice. The Widows’ Club will be launched in December, and Mmasechaba is committed to helping women in any way she can.
Mmasechaba’s story highlights the struggles that widows face after the loss of a loved one. The restrictions and rules imposed on them, along with the public scrutiny and criticism, can make it difficult for them to grieve and heal.
The Widows’ Club is a much-needed initiative that will empower and support widows, providing them with the help and resources they need to navigate their lives after the loss of their spouse. By giving a voice to these women and helping them understand their rights, the Widows’ Club will make a significant impact in the lives of many.
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