“I was dying inside”| Kudzai Mushonga details how suicidal it was to date Khanyi Mbau
Kudzai Mushonga, a prominent businessman from Zimbabwe, has recently opened up about his personal struggles with depression and suicidal thoughts during his relationship with popular South African celebrity Khanyi Mbau. The 30-year-old millionaire shared a heartfelt letter on the Instagram account of Maphephandaba, a well-known gossip page, shedding light on his experiences.
Although Kudzai did not explicitly mention Khanyi’s name in the letter, he provided enough clues for readers to infer that he was referring to his former partner.
The couple first went public with their relationship in February 2021, when Khanyi posted a photo of herself in Kudzai’s car on social media. While their relationship was characterized by opulence and luxury, it was not devoid of drama.
One particular incident that captured media attention was when Khanyi abruptly left Kudzai in Dubai and returned to South Africa. Kudzai had dropped her off at a salon, expecting her to join him shortly after her appointment. However, she decided to return home alone, leaving Kudzai bewildered and hurt.
In his letter, Kudzai described a daily routine that he followed for 1.7 years. He would work tirelessly for 18 hours a day, rarely interacting with the outside world. This self-imposed isolation began taking a toll on his mental health, causing him to feel trapped and controlled. “It all felt like I was an inmate looking back at it,” Kudzai lamented.
Kudzai’s mental health deteriorated significantly during the relationship, leading him into a state of deep depression. At one point, he even contemplated ending his own life. In his letter, he expressed a desire to leave his wealth to his family and girlfriend, indicating the gravity of his emotional turmoil.
The pressure to maintain the facade of a perfect relationship on social media further exacerbated Kudzai’s anguish. While he and Khanyi portrayed a happy couple to the public, behind closed doors, he was silently suffering.
Many people were shocked to learn about Kudzai’s hidden pain, realizing that social media relationships can often be misleading. One Instagram comment captured the sentiment well, stating, “So people be posting looking all lovey-dovey and dying inside… We need to wake up to the fact that gifts and money don’t equate to genuine love.”
The reaction to Kudzai’s heartfelt letter was a mix of sympathy and support. People expressed their concern for his well-being and shared messages of encouragement. It served as a reminder that love extends far beyond material possessions and public displays of affection. True love encompasses a deep sense of peace, comfort, and emotional support.
Kudzai’s story shed light on the importance of mental health awareness and the need for open conversations about depression and suicidal thoughts.
It reminded everyone that even individuals who seem to have it all can silently battle their inner demons. The letter also highlighted the significance of genuine connections and authentic relationships that go beyond the superficiality of social media.
In sharing his struggles, Kudzai Mushonga offered a glimpse into the dark side of fame, wealth, and high-profile relationships. His honesty sparked conversations about the importance of prioritizing mental well-being and seeking help when needed. Hopefully, his story will encourage others who may be silently suffering to reach out for support and find solace in the knowledge that they are not alone.